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| Dandelion-puppy disguised as a Vampire Puppy Pirate for Halloween 2007 |
It's been interesting hearing the feedback about this blog - thank you for all the support! - especially as a recurrent theme has appeared...children identifying as an animal.
This has come up several times amongst transfamilies who can look back and remember when their child identified more as a favourite animal or pet than as a kid. Friends who had been there for Dandelions years as a dog have commented on it, too and wondered if that phase is attached to his gender identity.
I think Dandelion was not yet 3 years old the year I made him a dog collar and leash (with magnetic clasps so that there would be no choking accidents) because, at this point he had been eating from, and only from, dog dishes for several months because he had informed us that he was a puppy.
The whole household supported it. He wore a dog costume, almost, daily for a couple years when we went out - stayed naked at home because "Silly Mommy, dogs don't wear clothes!", and when it wasn't appropriate he would wear street clothes with his collar, nametag, and, often, the leash. Yes, go ahead and imagine the looks I got walking down the street with my child on a leash! This was NOT my idea, Dandelion had a very good argument that you can't take dogs out without a leash...how do you support your puppy and argue with logic like that?!
Now, as an aside, one may question "When and where is the situation that is not appropriate to wear a dog costume and for a child to act in a doggy manner?". Nowadays, this would be a really good question - I'd be hard pressed to give you anywhere or anytime. Several years ago, I still believed that there was a certain way to act under certain circumstances and that we all sometimes need to blend in a bit more than we do. Have I grown as a parent and a person? Am I just a big push over? I like to think the former, but everyone is entitled to their own opinion - go ahead, I invite you to judge! But, for the record, if being a puppy wasn't appropriate, we could often compromise on him being Spiderman instead...
Back to my puppy: Dandelion was the best dog I have ever had. He even had a special dog name. He already did lots of tricks and was really quick to learn new ones. He communicated well, ate well, slept well and was fully housetrained. He loved getting his belly rubbed and getting scratches behind the ears. His favourite game was fetch.
I'm thinking that there IS a link between his identifying as a dog and his gender identity. I think that a very young age that he knew something was "different" about him and couldn't express it. Maybe he didn't even know what the "different" was. All I can tell you is that he lived in a very safe and supportive fantasy world.
I'd like to believe that our years of nurturing Dandelion-puppy gave him the security to voice to us, at such an early age, how he was feeling and what his needs are. I hope that our years of nurturing Dandelion-puppy has given us some of the tools we need to help him negotiate deeper waters as he gets older and life gets more confusing and seemingly difficult.
I do know that it has given us the attitude of "we don't care what you think because what we are doing, right or wrong, is out of love for our child" and seeing the proof-in-the-pudding of having a happy and well-adjusted child.
